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[This time, the recording starts with a long, drawn out sigh. Then, surprisingly, it's still Merlin's voice that rattles off the voicemail in tones of long-suffering.]

Hello, you've reached King Arthur Pr--Pendragon. He isn't here to answer your call because he's incredibly important and busy. If you leave a message here with me, I'll make sure he gets it because I am a good servant--and friend-- [he adds the last bit in a rush, accompanied with a thwap!, an 'ow!' and an 'I heard that,' then forces the rest of the words out through gritted teeth] and will do anything my master asks of me.

[A couple seconds pass, then Merlin speaks again, this time sounding a bit further away, like he isn't speaking into the bracelet anymore.] There, happy now? If you ask me, the other one is still better-- Shut up, Merlin. It's time to do yours next. Wait, what --

[ click! ]

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[Well, he thinks he's texting River, and has no idea how bad his luck and timing are.]

I've been told your husband is missing. Do you remember anything from the last time you saw him? Anything unusual?

How did you know he was missing? Who told you?

And what do you mean by husband?

[ Why didn't he think of that first ... ]

[ Wait, never mind that rubbish - ]

Do know anything of it?

What do you think I mean by husband? I thought I was the forgetful one.

You know, your husband. The one with the strange face and odd taste in clothing.

Some people were having trouble finding him. I was wondering if you knew if he was actually gone or if he's just off sulking.

[ Strange face? Bad clothing? That is perfectly ambiguous enough that Arthur is still horribly confused. ]

It's possible he might be of sulking about but he is still not my damned husband and I haven't the faintest where you got that impression. It's not even a possibility, it's just absurd.

What is he even sulking over? Did he stub his toe or something?

And who the Hell told you he was my husband?

Edited (html why sob) 2013-08-12 07:59 (UTC)

[Goodness, River is not taking his disappearance well.]

It's widely known! And you've told me yourself! Are you having second thoughts now?

I think we were both drunk the first time you mentioned it.

Are you just saying this because you're angry that he's disappeared?

[ ... What the shit did he tell who while drunk. ]

Of course I'm angry that he's disappeared! I've been trying to get hold of him since yesterday!

That doesn't make him my bloody husband! There's nothing to think twice about!

So let me get this straight. You don't marry me in my future?

[ What. ]

NO.

[ The fuck. ]

To whom do you think you are speaking?

[Oh hell. This blasted network. Again. At least it's not as embarrassing as the one he accidentally sent to Pyro that was meant for Charley.]

Oh blast, not again.

You're not River Song, are you?

I've never heard of anyone by the name.

Not your wife, then. Or a different [ ... ] you.

[ Can one of you draw a diagram please? ]

Which one of you is it, then? I can tell my men to put him on the list of missing persons as well.

Eleven is the one missing. River is his wife.

I'm surprised you haven't met her. She's not exactly shy. Mass of curly hair, walking innuendo, spends most of her time with Eleven - that's the bowtie one, by the way.

Your men? Who is this anyway?

I'm quite familiar with Eleven. I hadn't known he was wed, though.

[ Or that he was missing. This is awkward. ]

This is Arthur Pendragon and my men are the Knights of Camelot. Eleven is a friend of my house, we should be more than willing to aid in your search.

[ Even if Arthur thinks you're a butt. :T ]

[Eight's not even sure if he's happy he knows about apparently getting married in the future! He likes River and all, but marriage??]

Oh. Alright, Arthur. It is appreciated.

[This is suddenly really awkward.]

Wait, why did you assume I was talking about Merlin at first?

It would seem he's gone missing as well. I've not been able to reach him for nearing a day now.

I'm sorry. There are an awful lot of people disappearing lately.

So it would seem.

[ Mithian and Lancelot are missing as well, but their names aren't listed and Arthur doesn't think - ]

We must remain vigilant. I will let you know if I hear word of anything.

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[Text] Day 308: Time for a misfire from your least favorite Doctor

[Text] The absolute best kind. Also 1/4

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[Text] DONE I am so sorry lmfao

[Text] OH MY GOD, I love you ROFL

[Text] This is basically the best thing ever.

[Text] Yesss!

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