[ ic; contact ]

[pratentious]

[This time, the recording starts with a long, drawn out sigh. Then, surprisingly, it's still Merlin's voice that rattles off the voicemail in tones of long-suffering.]

Hello, you've reached King Arthur Pr--Pendragon. He isn't here to answer your call because he's incredibly important and busy. If you leave a message here with me, I'll make sure he gets it because I am a good servant--and friend-- [he adds the last bit in a rush, accompanied with a thwap!, an 'ow!' and an 'I heard that,' then forces the rest of the words out through gritted teeth] and will do anything my master asks of me.

[A couple seconds pass, then Merlin speaks again, this time sounding a bit further away, like he isn't speaking into the bracelet anymore.] There, happy now? If you ask me, the other one is still better-- Shut up, Merlin. It's time to do yours next. Wait, what --

[ click! ]

Comments

[pratentious]

[ Volley of ... death. Right. ]

I'll see how many I can assemble for such a purpose. Might I ask your name?

[alternia_strength]

D --> Equius Zahhak
D --> I am training constantly with the noble art of archery and have made it a lifelong pursuit of mine
D --> I am the STRONGEST amongst my Alternian kin

[Let us ignore the fact that, for most of his life, he was too strong to wield a bow without snapping it in half...]

[pratentious]

Does this find you in the house of Thor, then?

[alternia_strength]

D --> Neigh
D --> I am collected among the ranks of Freyr
D --> The fallen one recognizes in me the capacities of a creature of absolute perfe%ion

[pratentious]

A creature of absolute what now?

[ Forgive the medieval man his lack of understanding typing quirks. God help anyone that texts him with chat speak. ]

[alternia_strength]

D --> Perfe%tion
D --> Only the most e%ceptionally and e%cruciatingly constructed t00ls of destru%tion are worthy of this armada

[He wasn't even aware he wasn't helping.]

[pratentious]

[ Arthur might've figured it out, had the pattern not changed from c's to x's, and then zeroes as well? ]

Right.

[ Seriously, bro, what even are you. ]

It's good to have you, then. We could use your strength and clever eye, Equius Zahhak.

[alternia_strength]

D --> Indeed
D --> I look forward to the bl00d curdling screams of our dying foes human

[Sometimes... this boy had a disturbing way of putting things... and by sometimes, that meant every single time he talked.]

[pratentious]

[ oh my god why. Arthur is just. Not even going to respond to that??? ]